Closing a cycle

Last night I dreamt of you, I dreamt that you where doing well and happy with life.

I held your hand for hours not wanting to let go, how could I lose you when I had just found you again, but I could see from the look in your eyes you weren’t going to stay.

Sooner or later I would have to lose you again, and so I asked you a simple question, “Are you happy with the decision you have made?” you nodded yes, and then I made a decision…. I let go, and watched you disappear for the second time.

When I woke up, realizing it was just a dream made me feel slightly disappointed.

Are you doing well or are you happy? Questions always on my mind, but I think by now we have reached the end of a cycle and I have no more regrets.

What was, what was suppose to be, isn’t anymore and shouldn’t be, I can see that clearly now.

And now that the anger, confusion and depression has faded away, all that remains is the sounds of our laughter echoing of the walls of my bedroom.

We had a good cycle, and now even though I was unable to say it to you face to face, goodbye and good luck.

Storm

Something I wrote sometime back, but haven’t had the time to post it until today/ I haven’t felt weird enough to post it until today.




I am fine right? I don’t feel sick, Had enough sleep today, I am eating regular meals, exercising… But I’m not sure why I feel like I am in the center of the storm?

Someone used to tell me we live in seconds. Our happiest moment in life is separated from our saddest just by a second. If I expand on that theory can I say that in an hour there are 3600 times or shall I say moments that I could experience, and in those 3600 moments, I could experience one of the 8 basic human emotions, or the dozens of other complex emotions.

For some reason it seems unrealistic until your stuck in a state where your emotions are changing by the second. Right now I am feeling, Sad, Angry, Distant, Tired, Scared, Despair, Desire, Indifferent, Hopeless, Yearning, Dependent, and a few other ones that I can’t seem to find the words to describe, However.. 10 minutes have passed since I type this, and I am pretty sure I can’t feel all of those emotions at once... maybe if I combine all of them together I guess you can say I am over whelmed, but I am saying this on the 11th minute…? It just maybe possible to live in seconds, or more realistically in “ the now ” which we call our present. The now that is constantly changing.

The human emotions and way of living is hard and complex to understand, finding inner peace, and self happiness now seems like a myth…Realizing all this what do I do? Well I Smile, What else is there to do? And what's the use of crying when you can still find that life worthwhile. When you still find your able to look into your friend’s and ..some family member’s, in the eye and be truly happy that you know them and that they are in your life. When your able to feel your existence in their smile to you, and seeing it make you feel that every thing is going to be alright.