I seem to have said the wrong thing at the wrong time, Or Maybe the truth at the wrong time.
The truth was my own and only applied to myself, I didn’t realize the damage until it was done.
When the glass is about to break you shouldn’t be the one that throws the rock that actually breaks it, because the glass pieces are too sharp to pick up and fix again.
And here we are standing in the middle of all of this broken glass, one slight move could and we could end up getting hurt, but we will never be able to move on without walking through all of this broken glass. There isn’t anything to protect us from it.
For that I am sorry we have to go through this together, when I was the one the threw the stone.
Truth is a whisper and only a choice, Nobody hears above this noise
Always a risk when you try and believe, I know there's so much more than me
Yeah I got caught in the ruse of the world, It's just a promise no one ever keeps
And now it's changing while we sleep, And no one can see
You know all I am, Feel this moment in you
You know all I am, Can you teach me to believe in something
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Against the Hourglass
Time’s almost up, as I am yet again reaching another do or die moment in my life. Struggling against my fight against the hour glass, the pressure is on, and no one can help me, In the end it has to be me that decides.
However deciding hasn’t been one of my strongest points, and the result of all those, late night cups of coffee, walks up and down in the dark empty rooms of midnight, and the many disturbing sleep visions that haunt me every night; is just more panic and pressure.
The problem with you telling me that I can be whatever I want, is that the possibilities are endless, and the problem with them telling me all that I can’t be, is me craving for it.
And what’s worst than me admitting that I am no were close to understanding myself, is the screams from my reflection in the mirror. She tells me that even though we do look the same, she can barely recognize me anymore, and here I am suppose to decide….
It’s time for me to decide who I am going to be tomorrow… and the hour glass is almost empty, will I make that decision on time?
However deciding hasn’t been one of my strongest points, and the result of all those, late night cups of coffee, walks up and down in the dark empty rooms of midnight, and the many disturbing sleep visions that haunt me every night; is just more panic and pressure.
The problem with you telling me that I can be whatever I want, is that the possibilities are endless, and the problem with them telling me all that I can’t be, is me craving for it.
And what’s worst than me admitting that I am no were close to understanding myself, is the screams from my reflection in the mirror. She tells me that even though we do look the same, she can barely recognize me anymore, and here I am suppose to decide….
It’s time for me to decide who I am going to be tomorrow… and the hour glass is almost empty, will I make that decision on time?
Monday, January 11, 2010
Try - part 2
The world is against you, they watch your every move.. waiting for you to fall… and all I have been doing is falling.
Falling…. It’s so easy to fall. To just let go of everything and say I am incapable, however what’s more important is what we do after we fall.
Should I lay down flat in the dirt.. or do I recognize that this is not where I should be and get up.
For now I am lying flat down face in the dirt, blindly not recognizing that this is not where I should be.
But tomorrow is a different day.
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
Falling…. It’s so easy to fall. To just let go of everything and say I am incapable, however what’s more important is what we do after we fall.
Should I lay down flat in the dirt.. or do I recognize that this is not where I should be and get up.
For now I am lying flat down face in the dirt, blindly not recognizing that this is not where I should be.
But tomorrow is a different day.
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Another MEH moment
I would like to think that not hearing from you for all time is completely fine, and that I really don’t miss you at all, and that I am way past the point of caring… but that not true is it? I might be the most pathetic person to be constantly making up excuses on your behalf, or silently cringing at messages sent from others because they aren’t from you…It’s not that you have any importance in my life these days, but I still miss you…
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Monday, January 4, 2010
My 50
This post is kind of a contribution, from 2 of my friends. The first one asked me to write down 50 things I want to do in my life, I thought about it, and had come up with the below, Then I sent it to another friend of mine to ask if there was anything on my list that he could help me with... He replied back and I just couldn't help putthing his reply on my blog... enjoy folks! I just love him so much!
1. To be able to instantly focus and not procrastinate when work is given to me hehe when u do let me know how u did it
2. To Write a book write a page each day
3. To paint on the biggest canvas I can buy in Bahrain does walls count as canvas we can do it early in the morning when no ones looking
4. To Visit Japan me too , ok if anyone of us gets to go will take the other along
5. To Visit Australia hmm we will go on the way to japan
6. To Visit Canada good choice
7. To Visit Philippines dont hav to visit AMA uni
8. To Visit UK can help whenever u want we can plan it together
9. To Visit Netherland hmm we hav to see
10. To Visit USA its not worth it check the new rules we are one of the 14 countries to be searched by pading
11. To Visit Jordan didnt u do it already
12. To lose weight just walk everyday and cut down on junk food. dont stop but cut down
13. To run a marathon ur on ur own i can harrdly run to the bathroom
14. To facilitate a life changing session thats easy invite some friends over take a knife put it on kats neck then take it off there u saved her life
15. To be more organized hmm buy a digital organizer or use outlook to organize
16. To re-decorate my room buy a new desklamp =p
17. To improve my relationship with my family nod and agree to everything they say it works for me
18. To always see the positive of things hmm cant help here
19. To further my education me too
20. To write 100 posts in my blog ur getting there
21. To gain 2,000 visitors in my blog pay ppl to visit ur blog
22. To earn a salary of BD 2,000 before the age of 40 i see u getting more than that
23. To get my motorbike license lets concentrate on ur car skills first ;)
24. To own my dream car how can u own ur dream car and its in ur dream silly girl dreams are not real
25. To own my dream motorbike see 24
26. To redecorate my room go back to 16
27. To Have my own personal library in my home take a book from each of ur friends
28. To watch someone turn their life around and be told it is because of me u already did that
29. To own all the books that Brain Andreas has published! i dont think he has every book he published
30. To inspire people with words. u do that on a daily basis already
31. To never believe that life is harsh and reality is bad. get in line
32. To be on time always. take less bathroom breaks
33. To always be responsible and reasonable that time will cure
34. To Improve my photoshop skills keep practicing
35. To learn to master a new computer software every 6 months be more realistic no one can , do one per year
36. To buy a house… and work hard to make it a home good luck i am trying
37. To organize and be apart of a children’s reading group go do it
38. To be self confident always u have to fell good about urself first
39. To Try something new when ever the opportunity is presented just say yes
40. To always be true to myself
41. To always help when people need it u always do that
42. To pay forward all the help I go in my life see 41
43. To be well respected more than now?
44. To go bungee jumping we will go together
45. To go sky diving see 44
46. To go scuba diving we will go when i come to bahrain
47. To own a horse why they stink believe me
48. To always wake up and feel like the luckiest person alive u should
49. To help someone build a home sorry dear we can help decorate it
50. To teach someone something I know a lot about u taught me things about life i didnt know
I am Thinking maybe I need to re-look at my list and make some adjustments
1. To be able to instantly focus and not procrastinate when work is given to me hehe when u do let me know how u did it
2. To Write a book write a page each day
3. To paint on the biggest canvas I can buy in Bahrain does walls count as canvas we can do it early in the morning when no ones looking
4. To Visit Japan me too , ok if anyone of us gets to go will take the other along
5. To Visit Australia hmm we will go on the way to japan
6. To Visit Canada good choice
7. To Visit Philippines dont hav to visit AMA uni
8. To Visit UK can help whenever u want we can plan it together
9. To Visit Netherland hmm we hav to see
10. To Visit USA its not worth it check the new rules we are one of the 14 countries to be searched by pading
11. To Visit Jordan didnt u do it already
12. To lose weight just walk everyday and cut down on junk food. dont stop but cut down
13. To run a marathon ur on ur own i can harrdly run to the bathroom
14. To facilitate a life changing session thats easy invite some friends over take a knife put it on kats neck then take it off there u saved her life
15. To be more organized hmm buy a digital organizer or use outlook to organize
16. To re-decorate my room buy a new desklamp =p
17. To improve my relationship with my family nod and agree to everything they say it works for me
18. To always see the positive of things hmm cant help here
19. To further my education me too
20. To write 100 posts in my blog ur getting there
21. To gain 2,000 visitors in my blog pay ppl to visit ur blog
22. To earn a salary of BD 2,000 before the age of 40 i see u getting more than that
23. To get my motorbike license lets concentrate on ur car skills first ;)
24. To own my dream car how can u own ur dream car and its in ur dream silly girl dreams are not real
25. To own my dream motorbike see 24
26. To redecorate my room go back to 16
27. To Have my own personal library in my home take a book from each of ur friends
28. To watch someone turn their life around and be told it is because of me u already did that
29. To own all the books that Brain Andreas has published! i dont think he has every book he published
30. To inspire people with words. u do that on a daily basis already
31. To never believe that life is harsh and reality is bad. get in line
32. To be on time always. take less bathroom breaks
33. To always be responsible and reasonable that time will cure
34. To Improve my photoshop skills keep practicing
35. To learn to master a new computer software every 6 months be more realistic no one can , do one per year
36. To buy a house… and work hard to make it a home good luck i am trying
37. To organize and be apart of a children’s reading group go do it
38. To be self confident always u have to fell good about urself first
39. To Try something new when ever the opportunity is presented just say yes
40. To always be true to myself
41. To always help when people need it u always do that
42. To pay forward all the help I go in my life see 41
43. To be well respected more than now?
44. To go bungee jumping we will go together
45. To go sky diving see 44
46. To go scuba diving we will go when i come to bahrain
47. To own a horse why they stink believe me
48. To always wake up and feel like the luckiest person alive u should
49. To help someone build a home sorry dear we can help decorate it
50. To teach someone something I know a lot about u taught me things about life i didnt know
I am Thinking maybe I need to re-look at my list and make some adjustments
Better days
And you asked me what I want this year
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again
- Goo Goo Dolls
Here’s to the first post of 2010. I really could not think of what else I wanted to add about the new year, except lets just make sure that we have more good days than bad.
Cheers to the Laughter, Sadness, Excitement, disappointment, Frustration, Amusement, Fulfillment, Joy, Loneliness and Insecurity of 2010…
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again
- Goo Goo Dolls
Here’s to the first post of 2010. I really could not think of what else I wanted to add about the new year, except lets just make sure that we have more good days than bad.
Cheers to the Laughter, Sadness, Excitement, disappointment, Frustration, Amusement, Fulfillment, Joy, Loneliness and Insecurity of 2010…
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