Storm

Something I wrote sometime back, but haven’t had the time to post it until today/ I haven’t felt weird enough to post it until today.




I am fine right? I don’t feel sick, Had enough sleep today, I am eating regular meals, exercising… But I’m not sure why I feel like I am in the center of the storm?

Someone used to tell me we live in seconds. Our happiest moment in life is separated from our saddest just by a second. If I expand on that theory can I say that in an hour there are 3600 times or shall I say moments that I could experience, and in those 3600 moments, I could experience one of the 8 basic human emotions, or the dozens of other complex emotions.

For some reason it seems unrealistic until your stuck in a state where your emotions are changing by the second. Right now I am feeling, Sad, Angry, Distant, Tired, Scared, Despair, Desire, Indifferent, Hopeless, Yearning, Dependent, and a few other ones that I can’t seem to find the words to describe, However.. 10 minutes have passed since I type this, and I am pretty sure I can’t feel all of those emotions at once... maybe if I combine all of them together I guess you can say I am over whelmed, but I am saying this on the 11th minute…? It just maybe possible to live in seconds, or more realistically in “ the now ” which we call our present. The now that is constantly changing.

The human emotions and way of living is hard and complex to understand, finding inner peace, and self happiness now seems like a myth…Realizing all this what do I do? Well I Smile, What else is there to do? And what's the use of crying when you can still find that life worthwhile. When you still find your able to look into your friend’s and ..some family member’s, in the eye and be truly happy that you know them and that they are in your life. When your able to feel your existence in their smile to you, and seeing it make you feel that every thing is going to be alright.

Goodbye

You’ve already lost me, and I am not coming back.

I don’t understand how you were able to drive a person away by trying so much, isn’t trying suppose to make it all better.

But then again, I think that, that was the price you were willing to pay in order to get what you want.

I suppose it doesn’t really matter to you that you have now become nothing more than an awkward glance down a hallway, a distant memory of what was, A reflection in the mirror you can no longer recognize.

All I can say to you now is goodbye, I’ve packed up and left long before you’ve realized.

Human

Because I am human….

I need to be told how to Live for now. From all of the years that have come to pass, and all the years that will be, Before me I can only see right now, and it is in this moment that I am living in. Seeing, feeling and experiencing now!

I need to be shown how to be happy, during the most painful moments that life has thrown at me. To smile, when I feel like my heart is about to explode. To recover, when deep in depression.
I need to be held when I am broken, damaged at best. Shown past the disguise, to however deep it goes. Standing there with my true colors, to be looked at with truthful eyes, and be told that I have been perfect from the start.

But because I am human, I have people that have done the above for me.
Friends, Funny little creatures they are. People who you are able to share your life with. People who aren’t blood related. People who can surprisingly except you for who you are.

Just on a random note, why can’t 11 be read as onety one?