again

Again, I can’t help but mention that I am far from it and I know it. In fact I think by now you know it as well.

This time I was so close, and now I am yet again so close to nothingness.

Months and months of crafting the perfect balance, only to be broken in 5 minutes.

I know what you would say to me, start over again, if you keep learning what not to do, you will eventually learn what you should be doing.

But right now I can’t, I just can’t.

And Again I ask you, why is that we cry without know what exactly we are crying about?


“ Little angel go away, Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today, I'll never hear a word you say
Promised I would find a little solace, And some peace of mind
Whatever just as long as I don't feel so …Desperate and ravenous, So weak and powerless - Perfect Circle “

Until I am Fine

Been trying for the past hour to actually write down how I am feeling right about now, and all I have is the below lyrics. I wish I could fade away until I am fine.

I don’t want to fight anymore, or assure anyone that everything will be better. I don’t want to decided, or deal with confusion, mine or others. I don’t want to go past tomorrow. Today is the maximum I can do. I don’t want to push for greatness, mine or others, simple is what I can handle right now. I don’t want to lose or win. I just want to nothing everthing.

So tired I think I may actually fall asleep today.

" Don't ask me if I'm hungry, I'm not sick
Something’s tearing me apart, Brick by brick
And I feel guilty as I sigh, I'm feeling guilty, Why do I?
Take your hands out of mine
Take a rope and tie these thoughts of mine down
Until I'm fine
Cracked this morning worse and sad
Or have I already told you that
Forget my plans to grow a vine
You weren't dressed to burn these thoughts of mine
Until I'm fine - K's Choice"

Silent Night

Close to 5 am in the morning, and I am sleepless in Bahrain! I hear the birds chirping outside, they must all be ready to wake up, and yet I don’t seem ready go to sleep.

Been sick for the past few days, getting better and also getting worst. Antibiotics seem to be a bit too strong for me, They make me want to throw up. But Alas I can breathe again without any worries. This also could be the reason for me not being able to sleep.

There is something about the silent night that makes you think about the sad truth of life (or shall I say my life as thoughts will change according to people)

Here is what I have learnt tonight,

They don’t teach you everything you need to know about life at school, they seem to have forgotten the important bits.

Not everything is black and white, after awhile everything seems to turn to grey and your left in the confusion of all this grayness.

What cures you for one thing could make you sick with another thing.

When love is involved everything else becomes so worthless and when it dies everything else still remains worthless.

Unfortunately sometimes we must do wrong things, even if we are not proud of them or hated for it, it has to been done, and that’s just the way things work.

That not choosing is the laziest choice you can ever make, because it entitles others to choose for you, thus giving you the option to blame someone else if anything goes wrong in your life.

You cannot sacrifice yourself for someone you love, because you don’t realize how much pain you will be forcing on to them, especially if they see you hurting because of that.

5.14 am, I really need to fall asleep otherwise I will miss the rest of my weekend!

“I may be dumb but, I'm not stupid ...Trying to make this work by Rihanna - Stupid in love”