Try

You will never know what you are good at until you try, That’s true, but trying involves failing a lot, but then after failing a lot you begin to succeed. Sound so complicated this endless cycle of trying something new and failing in order to succeed.

Wouldn’t it be so much better if I could know what it is that I want to do in life? Because right now I Just don’t know, and I am just to tired to try! Not scared, just tired of going to the motions of trying something new and exciting, then failing at it or realizing that this is not what I want, then going back to square one and starting all over again. It takes time, and energy, and I feel like I can’t do it anymore.

But then you come along and remind me of why I was trying to hard to begin with… and All I can do it try...

However this time your not here to show me.....

All I know …Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives ….Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow …The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there … Wanting more from me …And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there … Wanting more from me …And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness … And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life … I thought I had designed for me

Another Meh Moment

Me…?

I have always been one to be interested in something I can not get, kind of like wishing you could hold the sun.

I am generally unappreciative of that which is given to me easily, Can’t say why though.

I have never had a problem getting things I felt is possible, and never had to struggle for them either, while I watch people try again and again to get them. People have flown pass the sky and on to the moon, If someone did it, So can I.

I am not one who has any trouble getting along with people, Nor am I afraid of being blunt with them.

I will not be the one to hold your hand and guide you to safety, because it’s in danger we live.

I have never been and will never be afraid of trying something new, growing old or dying along, or the fact that no one may miss me when I am gone. I am alive now, when the curtains close it all won’t matter.

I won’t tell someone I love them, Miss them or care for them if I don’t mean it. Even if I have known that person my whole life. I can’t even pretend I like someone I hate for the stake of anyone.

This is me, This is who I am, In all bluntness. Trying so hard not to get caught up in being someone else.

Why Am I saying this now? Its just something I needed to shout out.

What does it all mean? I have no clue.

What next? Well … That’s a secret.


I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is playing the piano

Aha

You told me the truth and yet, I got angry … Why did it hurt so much I don’t know…
The truth doesn’t hurt, especially for me, I’m not the type who cares about what people think.
Maybe it’s the reality of never going to be ……
But then again I’m not the type who is going to go and try or pretend to be something I am not just for acceptance ..
Case Closed….. But why am I still so upset?
That I will never know…


And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet'cause
I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down toIs that no one's really got it figured out just yet'cause
I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is playing the piano

Human

Because I am human….

I need to be told how to Live for now. From all of the years that have come to pass, and all the years that will be, Before me I can only see right now, and it is in this moment that I am living in. Seeing, feeling and experiencing now!

I need to be shown how to be happy, during the most painful moments that life has thrown at me. To smile, when I feel like my heart is about to explode. To recover, when deep in depression.
I need to be held when I am broken, damaged at best. Shown past the disguise, to however deep it goes. Standing there with my true colors, to be looked at with truthful eyes, and be told that I have been perfect from the start.

But because I am human, I have people that have done the above for me.
Friends, Funny little creatures they are. People who you are able to share your life with. People who aren’t blood related. People who can surprisingly except you for who you are.

Just on a random note, why can’t 11 be read as onety one?