Dear Dairy part 2

Just one of those that’s where I wish I can say I’m fine, and if I’m not I will be fine

I’m tired, oh so tired, I’m tired of false hope, I’m tired of people believing in me, I’m tried of even reading horoscopes just to believe that my day will be better.

And I don’t know what to do about any of it. I seem to be having an internal struggle with myself. Kind of like your whole world has been falling apart slowly, however you forced yourself not to notice, and then a train wreck forces you to see reality … And you’re just stuck there watching…. every single thing fall apart.

You don’t know why you’re anger any more, or why you’re sad, why you’re restless, you don’t know anything, not even what makes you happy right now.

“ I don't want to be the one, The battles always choose, 'Cause inside I realize, That I'm the one confused”

“I don't know what's worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate, And say what I don't mean, I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright.”

Dear Dairy Part 1

"The flow of time cleanses the past and heals the wounds in people's hearts. But there are wounds we cant speak of." — Ai Yazawa

I wonder if the 10^th of October will be one of those events that we just can’t speck of? It seems that we really can't turn back time or reverse the flow of life. Neither can we control which direction it is flowing too.

Good times go fast, but when its bad, its like watching everything happen is slow motion, almost as if time stops. And since last night it doesn’t seem to want to start again.

I suppose its one of those “what ever you do next will define you” situations. It’s the turning point. But sometimes, some of us, don’t necessarily grow from bad experiences. Sometimes we don’t become stronger.

So the question I am asking today is, am I turning towards good or am I turning towards bad? Am I strong enough?